May 19, 2020

When I grow up

First off, I want to say that I am grateful for my job and that I’m gainfully employed. I say this to appease the karma gods because I know how it feels to be unemployed, but if you were to ask me if what I’m doing for a living is what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have to say no.

When I was young I wanted to be one of Charlie’s Angels. I had no clue of what work really was, but I was always told I could be whatever I wanted to be.

Now that I’m older I still want to approach the way I make a living with a childlike optimism that I can be whatever I want to be.

I am creative. I always gravitated towards artistic things growing up but didn’t pursue a career in the arts because I was told it wasn’t practical.

I followed the practical path and all I can see at the end of my journey is an engraved plaque thanking me for the years I’ve spent doing something I didn’t really like doing.

I hear all the time that you are not supposed to be worrying about wether you are doing what you want to do as long as you are making a good living. But is making a good living the same as having a good living?

Most of us in the work force spend the majority of our day at our jobs. Our jobs play a role in how we plan our lives as far as starting families, where and how we live and planning for the future. Some of us even have to plan our free time around our employment. With so much of our lives being devoted to work, why shouldn’t it be something that we want to do.

I envy those people who can say that they are doing what they love so it doesn’t feel like work.

I justify what I am doing for a living with the cliches it pays well and I have some job security (if that even is a thing anymore). I stay because I have a lot of debt. I accumulate things to bring some type of fulfillment to my life. I wonder if I was doing what I wanted for a living would I be fulfilled enough to not need to accumulate other things.