June 23, 2020

43

My 43rd year started off rewarding then a life tsunami hit. Karma would pay me a visit and overstay it’s welcome for a few years.

In my 43rd year I received my Master’s Degree in Psychology and was ready to get back into the workforce.

Two months after graduating, I was evicted from my apartment. At the same time I was going through the process of getting a new job.

My brother helped me move out of my apartment and let me stay in his rental property that a tenant had recently moved out of.

During this time, I didn’t have any money and reluctantly learned how to accept help. My friends took care of me and I felt like less of a person. I didn’t feel worthy of their care or concern. I am used to being the one that takes care of others the friend in need. I never wanted to be the needy friend.

I knew what I was going through was Karma. When I was active in my disease I did things I knew I would have to pay for later and the universe came to collect.

I had gotten as far as accepting the new job and filling out new hire paperwork and when I called a few days later to get my start date, I was informed that the job offer was rescinded.

After that, it seemed like the job market dried up, for me at least. I applied and interviewed for several jobs but couldn’t get hired. It was demoralizing, I had experience and a Master’s Degree and I couldn’t even get a retail job.

One of my friends gave me some work cleaning the office building where she worked and paid me under the table.

I got on food assistance and I enrolled back in school to get a second Bachelor’s Degree.

The house I was staying in got infested with bed bugs. I had to throw away most of my furniture and clothing. I had to give my dog Chanel away and I remember crying on the phone to my friend to please find Chanel a good home. By this time I was hanging on by a thin thread.

Throughout this ordeal my resolve to stay sober was strong and miraculously I didn’t want to cope with my misfortune by self medicating with alcohol.

I tried to think of other ways to make a living and I started the first incarnation of this blog entitled All I Have is a Laptop and A Dream. My laptop broke, so I was just left with a dream.

I moved in with my sister and that’s where I would be for a few more birthdays.