But social media makes it hard

***Warning I am deep in my feelings as I write this. The thoughts and views expressed in this post are valid to me in this moment but are subject to change****

It’s been three years since my last relationship. I promised myself I wouldn’t become an emotional hermit after that relationship ended, but here I am hermit the crab afraid to come out of my shell.

I truly believe that I only have one more relationship left in me and if I don’t choose right this time, I’ll become a jaded, bitter old spinster with an endless supply of AAA batteries.

I hate dating. I’m a relationship girl through and through. I don’t see the point in trying to juggle multiple people when I’m only looking for one person to be with. I know what I want and if what I want wants me it should be as simple as that.

I don’t have the emotional fortitude or the ability to recover from heart break like I did when I was younger. I believe as one matures the mind games and shallowness should be left behind. Unfortunately social media has created a whole new level to the process of finding love.

As someone who considers herself shy and socially awkward. You would think online dating would be right up my alley. So in an attempt to ease myself into the dating scene, I signed up on a dating app. So far it has been the most anxiety inducing thing I’ve ever done.

First off I get so annoyed when the only pictures on a man’s profile is him in a baseball cap and glasses mean mugging or the ones who hold their phone too close to their face when they take a picture and all you see is nostrils and nose hair or the ones who take pictures with blunts hanging out their mouths, the ones whose profile picture is only a meme, or only pictures of their pet.

Most profiles don’t include bios (another thing that annoys me) and they answer the “what are you looking for” question with all the available options. Which confuses me how can you be looking to meet friends, looking for a long term relationship and a casual hookup all at the same time. Mind you my dating age range is 45-60 years old and I’m still getting this foolishness.

When the app sends me recommendations for prospective dates my screen is flooded with everything that’s wrong with the world. I’m supposed to choose from this?

Then the infamous dating app feature swipe left to pass, right to like or the app I’m on let’s you super like a person you are interested in. I don’t like the fact I have to right swipe right away on someone I’m interested in, not that I’ve really had to, but my left swipe game is strong! Anyway I wish there was a “not sure yet” option.

I did find someone I liked, but I’ll talk about it in tomorrow’s blog post.