But I’d rather make it hard

So my first two post on the topic of getting back into the dating game, I tried to blame social media and online dating for my frustration in my search for my special someone, but after further consideration I realize the common denominator is me and I am making this process more stressful than it has to be.

One takeaway I got from my online dating experience is that dating apps are not for me. If my current situation does not result in a relationship, I will find my person organically. Finding love is stressful enough (it really shouldn’t be though), I don’t need the added stress that online dating gave me.

I realize that through this process I think from two different brain functions: my analytical brain aka common sense and my emotional brain aka all in my feelings. Out of the two my emotional brain is my default and goes from zero to assumptions in 6.5 seconds. When that happens and I get too deep in my feelings, common sense kicks in and my analytical brain takes over. The trick is, to get my analytical brain to take over before I say or do anything out of pure emotion.

Managing my default setting is difficult for me, especially if I like the person. I can take myself on an emotional roller coaster of over thinking, over analyzing and jumping to conclusions off of something as simple as a Facebook post (I can’t believe I just admitted that). Common sense will eventually come in, calm me down and bring me back to reality.

Knowing how I approach getting to know a potential love interest is the reason why I know dating apps are not for me, the lack of tone and context in an text message makes it easy for things to get lost in translation. I prefer long telephone conversations even with the moments of silence between getting to know you questions.

Anyway, this is a journey of discovery, not just of the other person, but of myself as well.