Happy birthday to me! Today I turn 51 and the past year has been a mental, emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride.

For starters I had to celebrate my milestone birthday during a public health emergency and was unable to have the event I envisioned for my 50th birthday.

The truth is even without the mandated lockdown I probably wouldn’t have done anything more than what I actually did for my birthday.

This year I planned outings and outfits to go with them. I’m making up for what I was unable to do for my 50th birthday and also trying to establish how I want to show up in the world going forward.

The past year I have had some revelations and breakthroughs. I have also come to terms with how the choices I’ve made and continue to make have stunted my growth in many areas of my life.

I no longer want to waste time doing what I think I’m “supposed” to do. I want to live authenticity and do what truly brings me joy in all aspects of my life.

I want to pursue my passion and use the gifts God has blessed me with to make a living for myself.

The one thing that I don’t want to admit that I want is to be married. I never thought I would be single in my 50’s. I always envisioned me and my husband becoming empty nesters and traveling the world.

I no longer want to live small. I want to dream big, live big and do big things with my life. I only have one and I should live it to the fullest.

I’m still a work in progress but will enjoy my life through the process